DOMMES.

In the midst of an identity crisis and huge upheaval in my life last autumn, I made an incredibly quick decision to spend more money than I could justify at the time on a course with a professional Dominatrix. She goes by the name Colette Pervette , or just Colette. Her real name is something she prefers to keep concealed (I do know it, now, but out of respect will retain secrecy), for safety reasons and for a bit of mystery. I had found her down a little rabbit hole, reading about a friend of hers’- Mistress Iris - skincare and beauty routine, and becoming immediately fascinated with her lifestyle. I was struck in particular by how she said she didn’t like to wear much perfume when she was with clients. Instead, she thought the scent of her own sweat was more powerful.

I followed Mistress Iris on all the social media I could find her on. I followed all of the other mysterious and powerful women she was friends with. I was always drawn to the materials and colors they wore, the way they existed in a sort of fantasy identity, the way people would pay them hundreds of dollars just to be kicked repeatedly. How on earth could someone hold that sort of power? Could their allure be defined, studied, replicated, or did they just have some air about them that allowed them to pursue these careers? This creation of the false identity, particularly those of dominatrixes and women and femmes adjacent to this field. is something I have been looking into ever since.

My favorite part of Colette’s persona is that she is always in a black lace veil. You can never see her eyes. Again, I’m sure there is some safety in this anonymity for a sex worker, but since anonymity isn’t actually a requirement for their surprisingly legal career, it seemed to be just as much about this persona as it was about the woman who was behind the lace. She is also very streamlined, clean, almost zen in her appearances. She has aerial silks suspended in her home, with meditation spaces. She spins her flogger in infinity loops with precision, almost as if it were a dance instead of a form of corporal punishment.

Another domme of a very different variety is Marie Sauvage . She specializes exclusively in Shibari, the Japanese art of rope bondage. Her persona is very much about showing her face, showing herself actively in the process of her work. She is interested very much Florentine, Venetian, and Parisian art, style, and architecture- lots of candles, lace, red, masquerades, bridges, satin. She works frequently with model Tessa Kuragi and photographer Shelbie Diamond, who are often working in similar aesthetics (Tessa leans more gothic, and Shelbie leans towards an almost “hippie” sensibility, too). I have tried to capture her sensibility as best as I can in this little collage at the bottom of the page. The woman in red rope ties is Tessa Kuragi, and the woman with her is Marie Sauvage.

Mistress Iris, the woman who ignited my interest in this sphere initially, is all about luxury. Her photoshoots take place in big, empty mansions, or overlooking infinity pools and valleys. Her signature item is a whip. In a conversation I had with her over zoom, she discussed how minimally focused on actual physical contact her style of domination is. She much prefers to use her words, to create space for desire. Her choice to not cover herself with any fragrance seems to somehow fit this perfectly.

I have credited the main Instagram accounts that these women can be found on in all of their names, but due to the nature of their work and the promotion involved, these accounts are frequently suspended or taken down by Instagram, despite not actually violating any specific rules, and certainly not any laws. One common thread between all of these women is frequently lamenting shadowbans and frequent suspensions from the one place where they are best able to promote themselves.